In the eternal quest for an answer to the question of how to achieve a successful marriage, another book on the subject came out in the United States.

When she divorced after 17 years of marriage and began to read professional literature about relationships, author Tara Parker-Pope realized that she could have known from the very beginning that she belonged to a group with high risk of divorce.


Therefore, in her book " For Better:  The Science of a Good Marriage," which she wrote after her divorce, Tara Parker-Pope explains how , before you hit the road to the altar, you can evaluate what are your chances of divorce.

If we are familiar with the doctrine of marriage, we can predict better, which couple will succeed, and which will be tormented, says the author. Confirmation for her thesis, Parker-Pope finds in studies that are result of 30 years of research about divorce, which was led by psychologist Mavis Hetherington. In these studies five types of marriages were identified, and are based on the way couples argue. These marriages are:  cohesive, traditional, disengaged, operatic and pursuer / distancer.

Two types of marriage - a cohesive and traditional – have most chances to survive. Disengaged, operatic and pursuer / distancer type have high risk of divorce.  The study showed that those in traditional marriages, in which man earns and the wife is at home, have least chances of divorce, but on condition that both sides are satisfied with their roles and feel appreciated by their partner. Cohesive marriage, in which partners do not spend every free moment together, but they feel very connected, is the second most successful. That marriage functions as some sort of refuge, since at the end of the day partners meet and receive support, love and partnership.


Disengaged marriage unites two strong individuals who do not need intimacy in order to feel fulfilled. Couples in such relationships do not argue and do not really need each other on daily basis. The problem of such marriages is the fact that partners live as if they are single. On the other hand, operatic marriages are full of drama. Frequent quarrels often end with sex, and these couples have the highest levels of sexual satisfaction. The cycle conflict-sex can last for a while, but this relationship usually ends when one partner, usually a man, decides that passion is just not worth the constant conflict. Pursuer-distancer is type of marriage in which, according to study, in 80 percent the pursuer is a women. She wants to discuss about problems and the man is withdrawing, that is, escaping from the conflict. After a while, he gets tired of nagging and gets angry, and she withdraws into herself.

Once you identify to what type you belong, experts advice is to focus on marital communication. The most important of all, they say, is to understand that marriage consists of little things. The same way that little things can lead to a bad marriage, small, positive steps can make a good marriage to flourish.